


Dreamories

by IrisSteth



Category: Dark Matter (TV)
Genre: Despite the M rating there is no explicit smut, Gen, Hints of Ace!Five, Implied Sexual Content, Season 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 16:10:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8108860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisSteth/pseuds/IrisSteth
Summary: Five wakes up from a dream, a memory that isn't hers, and is faced with realities of her own that she'd been trying hard to ignore. Will Android be able to help her - or will the youngest of the Raza crew be forced to face her inner demons alone?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am not happy with the character's voices - especially towards the end, but I knew if I didn't post it now, I'd never finish it. I will go back and edit it someday soon to make it better as I have plans for further stories in this same universe, but for now this is a oneshot.
> 
> Additionally there is no excuse for the sheer amount of ellipses used in this fic. Whatever you do - please do not make a drinking game out of it, you will die.
> 
> Please enjoy.

“I can’t believe you’re already this hard.”

I could hear the amusement in her voice – mixed with the husky tone of lust it was the most beautiful sound I have ever known. I looked down, smiling at the fair skinned woman nestled between my wide spread legs. Her blue-green eyes told me today would be quite an enjoyable one. I tried to say something sexy like ‘only for you’ but, before I could, she began placing soft kisses up and down my inner thighs.

I released a groan as I threw my head back in frustration but, knowing what was to come, I quickly returned to watch. She smiled at me, moving her long black hair to one side as she began licking her lips expectantly.

I realized she was expecting something from me.

“Please Cath—”

I forgot what I was going to say as her fingers finally hooked themselves beneath the waistband of my boxers and began to remove them as if in slow motion. It took everything I had to sit there – perfectly still and wait for her to touch me where I needed it most.

My manhood sprang to attention, finally free of its confines and throbbing for attention. She’d been teasing me for so long all I needed was a touch – hell a light breeze would probably do the trick.

“I love you Derrick,”

We locked eyes and I watched as she moved to take me into her mou—

* * *

Five woke with a strangled cry and sat up in a panic. She kicked off the tangle of sheets that had bundled up around her legs and scooted herself further up the bed until her back was firmly pressed against the wall. Blue eyes darted about the room searching for – intruders? Threats? A way to escape? Five wasn’t sure, but she double, no _triple_ checked all the same.

Once the youngest Raza crew member was confident she was safe and alone in her own quarters, she finally allowed herself to investigate the uncomfortable heat between her legs.

_Thank god_ she thought with a shaky sigh.

The smoky-patterned leggings she’d worn to bed were skin tight and confirmed a distinct lack of external genitalia. Logically she knew this would be the case, but even now she could feel a phantom presence of an erection and felt compelled to check, just to be absolutely sure.

“Oh god,” she hissed pulling away the hand she had used to cup her sex as if burned.

Five swallowed thickly as she noticed it had come away damp – she was unquestionably, undeniably, irrefutably aroused.

And She was hot. Entirely too hot for the light breeze of recycled air blowing from the vents to cool down her heated skin – even if it was covered in sweat.

Heart racing and breathing erratic - Five stood and began to pace from her bed to her desk and back again. Four had taught her how to breath. Moving and breathing – she could do that.

But even as her breathing settled down her mind continued to race and her body longed for something she did not know, nor wanted, to give it. She needed to distract herself... well – from herself.

_Maybe if I can just make sense of the dream – no **memory**_ , Five corrected with a quick shake of her head. It had been too real to be just a dream; she was sure of that.

_But who’s?_

Two was ruled out instantly. She lacked the proper... equipment – at least as far as Five knew.

_Okay, it’s **entirely** too early for me to be thinking about something like that. Let’s never do it again. Moving on._

It couldn’t have been Four or Six – neither were the right skin tone – which left Three.

“But,” Five frowned, trying to remember, “She called me—”

Five stopped mid stride as everything clicked into place.

_I forgot – how could I forget?! I hadn’t thought -- didn’t even consider_

Distantly, Five realized she was shaking. Cold. She was cold – but that wasn’t right. Hadn’t she been unbearably hot just moments ago?

_But he’s dead! And I just... just..._

Five gripped her head with both hands – flashes of the memory she’d just experienced kept floating in and out of her mind.

_One had been so happy, so alive and happy._

“He’s dead,” she whispered, trying to reminded herself.

_But that was One! He’d sounded different but I’m definitely sure that was him! Was that his wife? Wait... but she... was murdered? But I just saw her smiling..._

“No no NO! They’re both dead! Stop THINKING!”

Five jumped back and held in a scream as the door to her quarters suddenly opened.

* * *

“Pardon the intrusion, Five. My sensors indicated you were experiencing unusual fluctuations in—”

Android was unable to finish her explanation as she was suddenly tackled in what humans called ‘A Hug’.

Android was not entirely sure what warranted this sudden need for physical contact and quickly recalled her prior experiences to ascertain its purpose.

The first time Android had experienced a hug she had just learned her programming was flawed and she was exhibiting signs of emotion. Android had been – concerned.

Such a flaw would logically warrant her programming to be reset to factory default. Instead, Five had congratulated her on the discovery before initiating a tentative, but warm, hug.

Android could not be certain if Five’s hesitance was because the girl was not used to giving hugs – or if she was worried about how the Android would react to receiving one. 

The second time had been back on Hyperion-8. Shortly after Android had completed Five’s order to “Kill them All” the girl had embraced Android in a passing hug the moment she had caught up. Five had offered no explanation and Android had thought it rather poorly-timed as they were still far away from the prison’s shuttle-bay. Yet – Android had found it oddly pleasant all the same.

The hug Android was currently experiencing was markedly different and decidedly less pleasant then her previous ones. This hug was tight and lacked any sort of warmth.

Situation finally assessed Android initiated a proper response and returned the hug.

“Five, you are shaking,” Android paused long enough to use her neuro-link with the ships computer to direct more heat into the small space, “And displaying obvious signs of distress. What is wrong?”

Android waited for a response of some kind, but Five’s condition did not change. The girl remained shaking, her grip vice-like around Android’s torso. She would have to try a different approach.

“Shall I contact Two?”

“NO!” Five shouted, shaking her head emphatically for good measure as she made to pull away from the hug.

Android blinked as she released Five, trying to understand the teen’s reaction. The suggestion had been logical enough. Two and Five often spoke about matters the rest of the crew were not privy to. Something about ‘Girl Talks’. Two would surely be able to comfort Five more then Android could.

But Two was the _last_ person Five wanted to talk to about all of – well all of this. At least not right now. How was she supposed to even bring it up? ‘Hey Two, I might have sort of just experienced sex as One with his dead wife. Also I just realized probably-definitely have memories of the rest of you having sex as well and it kind of just makes me want to barf.’ Yeah, _that_ would end well.

Five groaned and rubbed a free hand across her face, wiping the mix of tears and sleep away from her eyes before sniffing loudly a few times to clear her nose. In the months since waking up from stasis she had experienced countless dreams-memories, or dreamories as she had started to think of them, and while it wasn’t uncommon for her to wake up after a dreamory it _was_ rare for one to have affected her so physically. 

Crossing her arms over her chest, the teen looked up to see Android staring straight ahead, her eyes moving from left to right as if she were reading from some invisible screen. Five had learned this meant Android was processing information, perhaps searching her memory or analyzing something in the ships systems. Then, all at once, Android blinked twice and stood up straighter.

“Wait here,” Android said with an air of command in her voice she rarely used outside of missions, before turning to exit.

“Wait,” Five said grabbing Android by the arm, “ _Please_ don’t wake Two. I-it was just another memory and I—I don’t want to waste her time.”

“You are not a waste of time Five,” Android said solemnly, “And Two would want to know about anything that troubled you, as would the rest of the crew.”

Five let go of her arm and took a step back. She knew Android spoke the truth, but it was hard to fully accept. It had only been two weeks since Two, Three and Four had retained their memories and reverted back to their old selves for a day.

In that short time Ryo had pulled her out of an air vent by a leg and slammed her to the ground, Marcus had called her an _inconvenience_ and threatened to sell her into slavery and Portia... Portia had given orders for the boys to kill her on sight – an order which both had been dangerously close to fulfilling.

Android tilted her head slightly, studying Five’s withdrawn posture and continued, “But I was not leaving to wake her. Or anyone else for that matter... Though I still think you should inform them.”

“Then... where were you going?”

“To make you some hot chocolate, I had originally intended for it to be a surprise that would both—”

“Woah-whoa,” Five interrupted with a small smile, “Hot chocolate sounds fantastic but... why don’t you make yourself a cup as well and then maybe we can just, I don’t know, talk?”

“Okay.”

With a hiss the doors closed behind her, leaving Five alone with her thoughts.

Her smile fell as she sat on the edge of her bed and cradled her head in her hands.

She knew Android had a point. She would feel better after talking with Two. The older woman might not exactly know what to say, but she always managed to make time for Five and listened when she needed to talk. But, if she was being honest with herself, she was scared.

She was scared of being a nuisance, a bother, an _inconvenience_. She had lost count of the number of times she had been used as leverage to force the crew to do something. Five knew none of them really held it against her, but every time they worried about her it was another distraction that they didn’t need. Not when they already had so much to deal with.

And – maybe she was still terrified of Portia. Five had been careful not to mention the fact that Ryo and Marcus had almost killed her on Portia’s orders. None of them could remember it anyway, so there was no reason to make them even more upset and apologetic about the whole thing they already were. 

Five sighed. No, she definitely wasn’t ready to talk about any of this. Not with Two or Android or anyone else. She’d get over it eventually. They _had_ decided to leave the files alone. For now.

_And maybe that’s what’s really bothering me,_ Five thought to herself glumly, _Their old memories are still stored in those neural-imprints and nothing is stopping them from just downloading them into their brains and remembering everything._

Five knew how strong curiosity was, how the rest of the crew always looked up information about themselves whenever they could. She also knew that it would change them, and not necessarily for the better. But it wasn’t her call. She didn’t have the right to take their memories from them again (and she knew that she could) so all she could do was hope. Which _really_ wasn’t much of a comfort.

Thankfully, before the teen could work herself back into a tizzy Android appeared with two steaming cups of Hot Chocolate with...

“Are those what I think they are?”

“I am unable to read minds Five, but if you are thinking they are a miniature version of a spongy confection made fro—”

“I _know_ what marshmallows are Android,” Five said interrupted with a chuckle as she accepted her mug.

“Then– why did you ask?”

“Because I didn’t know we had any! Where did you find them?”

“I bought them.”

“You bought them?”

“Yes.”

Five furrowed her brow, trying to remember when Android had been off the Raza last. Normally she stayed behind with the ship so they could make a quick getaway if a situation came up.

“When?”

“On our visit to Alrescha-7*.”

“I don’t remember you leaving the Raza on that stop,” Five pressed, becoming a bit confused.

“That’s because I didn’t.”

“Then how did you buy these?”

“I asked Nyx if she would acquire some for me.”

“Nyx?!”

“Yes,” Android tilted her head to the side. Did Five have some blockage in her external auditory canal? Her hearing seemed somewhat impaired judging by her constant need for clarification. Android made a note to examine them later. “She agreed with the condition that she would be permitted to ‘take a few’ – I determined her request reasonable and provided her with the credits she would require to purchase them. She returned with them and, after removing her share, gave the rest to me.”

“Huh,” Five said staring at the mug in her hands. A few marshmallows floating on the top were beginning to melt. “I still don’t know Nyx too well but – I’ll have to thank her,” she added simply before taking a sip.

Android watched curiously as Five’s condition began to improve with each passing sip of her drink. Her heart rate was returning to normal, breathing had stabilized, and – though her body posture was still defensive – she wasn’t nearly as rigid and tense as she had been a few minutes ago. Satisfied with her current progress Android finally allowed herself to focus on the drink in her hand.

They sat in silence for a while, side by side on Five’s bed. Android content to analyze the neural input from her taste receptors to determine if hot chocolate was superior with marshmallows in it (it was), and Five allowing the warmth of the beverage to ease her nerves as she gathered her thoughts.

Five was nearly done her drink before she felt ready to talk.

“It... I was... My...” She shook her head and tried again, “The memory. It was One—” her voice cracked and she quickly cleared her throat. She would not break down again. She wouldn’t. “I mean, Derrick Moss’ memories.”

Android blinked a few times as she turned her attention to observe Five. The teen continued to look straight ahead and brought her mug closer to her chest.

“I... He was with his wife. The one who was killed. She had pretty eyes and a beautiful voice. He loved her so much. I could feel it. She was his world. She was kneeling, in the memory, and they were about to be... _intimate_ together when I woke up.”

“That does explain the elevated pheromone levels you were exuding upon my arrival,” Five flushed but Android merely continued “A automatic but involuntary biological response to erotic stimuli occurring while you sleep. Though, I fail to see why it upset you to such an extent.”

“Of course it upset me!” Five said finally turning her attention to Android, “How could it not?!”

“My apologizes Five. It is just that the memories you typically experience are extremely violent and are primarily focused on killing and death,” Android explained, “This memory lacked all of those things and sounds as if it was... pleasant. And mainly focused on love, an emotion sorely lacking in most of the memories you have told us about.”

“Yeah! A love between two _dead_ people! Two dead people about to have _sex_.”

“I can assure you that it is quite impossible for corpses to copulate.”

Five would have laughed if she wasn’t so frustrated so she rolled her eyes instead.

“Though Derrick and Catherine Moss may be deceased presently, they were both very much alive at the time your memory took place. Therefore, it is impossible for the situation you have suggested to have actually occurred.”

“I _know_ that Android but—” Five sighed and finished off the rest of her hot (well, warm) chocolate before continuing. She needed it.

“Until tonight I hadn’t experienced any of One’s memories. It’s... upsetting to know I’ve got all his memories in my head.”

“But you already knew you had his memories in your subconscious mind. You have all the crew member’s memories—”

“I get that... but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it. I mean, what am I supposed to do with them? If One was still alive I would have told him about how much his wife loved him and how much he’d loved her back... He’d have wanted to know... but he isn’t here. He’s dead. So what’s the point?! Why am I remembering them now?”

“I suppose,” Android said after a moment of consideration, “The point now is to ensure you will never forget him.”

Five hesitated.

“In a way, One will continue to live on as a part of you.”

The realization, while humbling, wasn’t exactly _comforting_.

Android watched as the teen brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them, mug still firmly held in both hands. It was as if she was trying to make herself as small as possible – or perhaps defend herself. From what – Android wasn’t sure.

“Five – If you had experienced a different memory of One’s,” Android began as tactfully as she was able, “Perhaps him as a child or his learning about his wife’s murder? Would those memories have upset you to this extent?”

“No,” Five admitted softly, “I mean... Yeah, sure I would have been upset but...”

“What bothered you most was the sexual content of the memory itself.”

Five nodded and loathed herself for doing so.

She hadn’t realized she was shaking when Android gently took the mug from her hands and moved it—somewhere Five really wasn’t sure, she hadn’t been paying attention... All she really knew was she was being hugged again and her thermal blanket had been draped over her shoulders.

It was awkward at first – Android doing her best to wrap her arms around the girl in spite of the fact that Five was curled in on herself in more ways than one... but eventually Five shifted slightly in order to rest her head against Android’s chest.

The soft hum of machinery wasn’t exactly the same as the beat of a heart... but it was oddly soothing all the same.

“Sorry... it’s just... I know it doesn’t make any sense,” Five mumbled into Android’s shoulder, “I can handle the violent memories. I don’t like them and it scares me to know what kind of people they all used to be... but I know I can’t do anything about it...”

Android nodded and Five took that as a sign to continue – not that she really felt like she could stop right now anyway.

“And I really appreciate the happy memories, like the ones of Three on the farm... and some of Four’s adventures with Hiro are just so _fun_... it’s easy to get swept up in those... but their _sexual_ memories? It... isn’t right. I shouldn’t... I don’t...”

“I don’t... know how I feel,” she admitted finally, “I _am_ upset that One is dead and I don’t know what to do with his memories now that he’s gone. But you’re right... Lust... Desire... I hadn’t _felt_ that before tonight, and it scares me. It – it _isn’t_ _right_ Android.”

“Those are two normal human emotions Five, you should not feel ashamed for that.”

Five shook her head before pulling back enough to properly look Android in the eye – though not so much as to actually break free of the hug.

“But they weren’t MY emotions Android. They were Derrick’s. I’m not just watching their memories like some sort of movie, I’m _actually_ them. It was a private moment, an _intimate_ moment between two people who loved each other and aren’t even _alive_ anymore and I just... I joined in like some sort of pervert.”

“You had no way to control that.”

“I know,” Five said looking away, “but it’s more than that. I... I don’t like thinking about it. It weirds me out and it shouldn’t because it’s a normal human function but... I can’t make myself like it Android.”

Five paused as she felt Android’s grip tighten around her. Confused she looked back up to see Android’s face had changed from concerned but attentive to something she hadn’t seen before. Honestly, Android didn’t look all that different from her usual base settings, but Five liked to think she knew her better. It was just something in her eyes they looked almost – angry.

“Has someone aboard the ship been pressuring you into doing something against your will?”

“What? No...” Five stammered out. She’d never heard Android’s voice so tense before, “No nothing like that!” Five quickly amended and was relieved to see her friend’s expression return too normal.

“It’s just... in the memories I feel what they felt even if I don’t agree and – I worry that all these memories might be... I don’t know, _manipulating_ me I guess? Not on purpose!” she added quickly as Android’s hold tightened once again. “But... sometimes I’ll just... _know_ things. Things that I probably shouldn’t – even when I’m awake. Like – how much blood you can lose before you die – or that cyanide smells like bitter almonds but not everyone’s nose can pick up on it.”

Five sighed and moved to rest her head back against Android’s chest, “Whether I like it or not, their memories are making me different – they are as much a part of me as they were of them.”

Android had not anticipated that Five would still want to be held after she had increased her grip strength to higher then advisable standards during their talk. It had only lasted a moment, but she knew the teen had felt it. Still, Android was pleased to know Five felt comfortable in her presence.

“How long have these thoughts been troubling you?”

“Off and on since we used the ships neural link on me to explore the memories.”

“That was some time ago,” Android almost sounded surprised, “Why have you never voiced these concerns before?”

“Because before most of the memories were _harmless_ – okay well maybe not harmless but... nothing I could do anything about. I’m no blade master like Four – even if I know how he fights my body doesn’t have the training, but this is different. This doesn’t require skills... this is about _feelings_.”

“That contradicts your prior statements of feeling emotions during these memories.”

“Well – yeah but that’s because I already knew those emotions. Like, since I’ve woken up I’ve felt angry, sad, scared, happy, confused... so I knew how I’d react. I knew it wasn’t their memories inflicting me but...”

“The emotions of lust and desire are new to you.”

“Exactly. How do I know if I like boys or girls or androids or all three or even none of them when... when I won’t ever get the chance to experience them on my own? What if because of that the next time I see a pretty girl who looks like his wife I remember what he felt and can’t figure out if it’s his feelings I’m remembering or my own?”

“What if... I don’t like... sex?” Five said the last word so quietly that had Android been human she probably would have missed it, “But their memories make me feel some other way? What if I DO like it but I can’t tell because their memories are the only things I’ve ever had to go by...”

“Five,” Android began after the teen had finished, “How would feel right now if I kissed you?”

“What?!” Five pushed herself free and stared warily at Android, “I – I ...”

Android was smiling and, after a moment of thought, Five was too.

“You’re something else you know that Android?”

“Yes.”

“Humble too,” Five added, rolling her eyes, “But you know this isn’t exactly the same right? I like you but we’re family Android. Kissing you... well... I don’t think I’d feel anything one way or another, but I’d rather not all the same.”

Android nodded, “While not exactly the same – you still reacted to the question as you typically would. I cannot promise you that the memories of the others do not have the potential to change you – but now that I am aware of your concern I can monitor the situation – if that would make you more comfortable?”

Five thought about it seriously for a moment before nodding slightly, “It _would_ make me feel better, but I’d like to figure out some basic parameters for you to observe first – and make sure to encrypt the data so that its extra secure. Maybe sometime tomorrow? I should probably try to get at least a little more sleep.”

Android nodded and stood up, collecting the mugs as she did.

She was almost out the door when she stopped.

“Five – I do not believe the rest of the crew, myself included, will care what preferences in companionship you decide to have. Rather, I think what the future individual you may or may not fall in love with will look like – so long as they make you happy.”

The teen smiled and opened her mouth to say something—

“And should they ever harm you in any way – I can promise you the GA will never find their body.”

Five laughed harder then she should and completely missed Android's soft “Good night,” as the doors hissed closed behind her.

**Author's Note:**

> I really want to fix the end - but as I said above, if I don't post this now it will linger forever in my draft-box and this fandom is too small not to contribute at least this much.
> 
> Thank you all SO much for reading. I personally think Five is somewhere on the Ace spectrum and as I am on that spectrum myself I really relate to her in a lot of ways. It was fun and challenging to write her and not have ME come out - but I think I did alright.
> 
> I really want to further explore the idea of Five experiencing these dreamories - especially the ones that aren't about death and murder. I feel they will shape her as a character and I personally think she will struggle with her idea of 'self' more then we see on the show.
> 
> Bonus points if you can figure out how I came up with the name for station Alrescha-7.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in a comment!


End file.
